5.12 Sympathy for the Devil
Derek: You are wearing an alarmingly high ponytail.
Meredith: Your mother is coming!
Derek: Oh, perfect timing! Mom, this is Meredith.
Carolyn: Meredith! Finally!
Meredith (smiling awkwardly):Hi!
Carolyn: My son is been acting like a dog with his favorite bone hiding you away. I hope you're free for lunch. I can't wait to dive in and find out all about you.
Carolyn: Derek tells me you grew up right here in Seattle. Are your parents...?
Meredith: Umm... dead.
Derek: Meredith's mother died last year.
Carolyn: Oh... I'm so sorry. And your father.
Meredith: Oh... You know, I should... go, check on patient. Who's the serial killer. Not killing people. So that's good. I should go. (she leaves)
Derek: Family isn't her favorite topic. She's had a rough time.
Carolyn: I didn't say a word.
Derek: I know what you're thinking.
Carolyn: I was thinking, it must be awful, for you. Treating a murderer.
Derek: Dad died a long time ago. I'm fine.
Carolyn: Meredith, I was just looking for Derek. I thought you'd be with him.
Meredith: You seem like a very nice person. You've been very kind. And you've given me a chance. And it seems like you wanna like me. So it's only fair, you should know... the pink and the ponytail and the smiling with the teeth...I'm a fraud. It's fake. I'm not kind a girl mothers like. I'm not happy and bubbly. I'm dark and cloudy. Because I'm the type of crazy person who feels bad for serial killers.
Carolyn: It was very nice to meet you Meredith.
Carolyn: Your father always wanted you to have this for the right girl. (she shows him the ring) Addie wasn't right clearly.
Derek: You spent less than an hour with Meredith, you barely even know her.
Carolyn: I know enough. I know its easier to have compassion for a good person than a murderer. I know how angry you are about what happened to Dad.
Derek: Of course I'm angry. Aren't you?
Carolyn: I still can't sleep on his side of the bed, the mattress is wearing unevenly. But no, no, not angry. Not anymore. Oh sweetheart, you see things in black and white.
Carolyn: Meredith doesn't.
Carolyn: You need a spoonful of that. You need her. She's the one.
My mother used to say this about residency, "It takes a year to learn how to cut. It takes a lifetime to learn not to." Of all of the tools on the surgical tray, sound judgment is the trickiest one to master. And without it, we're all just toddlers running around with ten blades.
We're human. We make mistakes. We misestimate. We call it wrong. But when a surgeon makes a bad judgment call, it's not as simple. People get hurt. They bleed. So we struggle over every stitch. We agonize over every suture because the snap judgments, the ones that comes to us quickly and easily without hesitation, they're the one that haunts us forever.